I know it’s hotter in other parts of the country, but it’s more like when we lived in Virginia than ever. Part of the reason we moved here was to get away from the heat and humidity. At least the humidity isn’t bad here.

Why am I cooking on the hottest day so far this month? I was going to make three dishes for the freezer, but I may not. Our a/c is temperamental. I don’t want to stress it.

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My sister told me that she read that people with ADD/ADHD are more likely to suffer depression than those without. It does not surprise me at all. I’ve dealt with depression off and on since long before I realized I had ADD. Often that depression is because I don’t seem to get things done the way I expect to, want to. And I don’t get them done because I am so distractible. It’s so much easier to start the new thing that caught my attention than to finish any of the old ones. And even when I determine to work on one old thing, simply encountering another old thing may switch my focus. It’s not that I’m unaware. 90% of the time I’m aware after I’ve spent a good amount of time on B (and/or C and/or D…) when I intended to work on A. The rest of the time I just decide to go with the flow (~8%) or struggle to get focused on A again. Too often I get paralyzed trying to decide what to work on in the first place and end up working on something not in the selection (that new thing). That leads to a sense that there is too much to be done with not enough time, and can make me feel like a total failure. Logically, I realize I do get more done than I am giving myself credit for. It may take longer that it would for a focused person, but I usually to get things done eventually. AND I also realize that a lot of people don’t do a whole lot at all compared to what I’m trying to do. Someone else does x amount of work and completes their project. In the same timeframe, I don’t complete anything, but I’ve done 2x amount of work. Perhaps less efficient, but not necessarily less worthwhile. So actually, it’s okay if I don’t get it all done. No one could. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to, though. I wonder if being more focused would lessen what I attempt, therefor what I accomplish, or if it would just make me complete a lot more. (I probably wouldn’t be spending time writing about it!)

For those of us with ADD making “to-do” lists rarely helps (at least not to complete everything/only what’s on the list). I have found “done” lists are actually more helpful along with a master “to-be-done” list. A “to-be-done” list doesn’t need to be prioritized, another ADD weak point.

A positive point I’ve noticed about ADD is that I tend to be more in the now than a lot of focused people. I hyper focus (tune out everything but what I’m doing) more frequently than I realize as I’m doing it. I’ve only ever read about this as a negative, and it definitely can be negative, but you can’t be living more “in the moment” than when hyper focused. I also find that even when normally scatterbrained, I tend not to dwell on the past or future than a lot of people do. Being aware of and planning for the past/future is one thing, dwelling is another. Focusing on what I no longer have is misery. Focusing on what could go wrong in the future (which is how too many future dwellers do it) is misery. Focusing on now, on what I have and what I’m doing leads me to be grateful and happy. Exceptions (+-+) to the (-+-) past, present, and future dwellers are (past) historians keeping the lessons of the past alive, (present) people who focus only on all the current negatives, and (future) innovators who dream positively of what could be. Historians and innovators think other time, but live now. Negative people are… well, just negative.

That whole last paragraph was an ADD tangent! Which leads me to another, about tangents … The main reason I find it so difficult to listen without some active participation (like taking notes), is that so many things can send my brain off on a tangent and while I’m thinking on that tangent path I’ve stopped listening attentively. Following mental tangents is the only way I’m ADHD rather than ADD.

HA! Following tangents has made me forget what I originally planned to write about or if I had actually planned anything. It makes a good place to stop. (If I can’t cook, at least I can clean a bit.)

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Instead, I played.